Yesterday is the 28th of February. 10 days ago was my birthday. The 18th. The birthday.

Ok big deal Rick, what's up.

Today I celebrated Murdercat's burfday. Yaaaaaaaaaay. Her burfday was on the 18th, too. Except we're celebrating it on the 28th. Uhm, ok. Sure.

So at about... Uh, 11 or so I get a call from Mom.

"DID YOU PAY YOUR INSURANCE"

I WILL ALRIGHT THANKS BYE

And there goes some fat stacks of cash. I won't miss 'em too much. It's just fat stacks of cash. It's not like it was fat stacks of cash or anything.

During that I missed a call from Murdercat. Ok, call back, yes, hi, yes, I'm coming, what, no, Doc is where, arrrgh, how do I get there, what am I doing now, agggh, ok, something street yes, right, what, ok, ok, fine, yeah sure alright bye.

During that I missed another call from Doc. "Yeah, we're going to Kayla's."

Uh... ... Ok.

"We aren't going yet though."

Uh... ... Ok.

"We'll call you when we are going."

Uh... ... Ok.

"kthxbye"

Uh... ... Ok.

So two hours later...
"We're going now."

Uh... ... Ok.

So I drive to Kayla, meet Luke, have an epic car battle (Dah nah nah nah nahnah nah nah) and pick them up and off we go.

It's somewhere along route 146, I've driven by there a few times so I'm kinda surprised how close it is. However, there was one thing standing between us and getting to our goal.

SUBURBIA.

Oh god no.

I hate Suburbia.

It's really freakin' creepy. Houses upon houses down roads of roads that don't go to anywhere and there's nothing really anything anywhere and it's all flat and what the hell I don't know anythingohgodweareallgonnadiehowonearthcouldyoulivethereisthatteaohgodiloveteatitsurelooksdelicious.

And then there's OUTER DRIVE. Which leads to INNER SPACE. A collection of fiendishly turns and other sorts, with freaky houses all over.

And finding the right house is scary enough. They're all the FUGGIN SAME.

So we find it and there's Murdercat. Ready to murder. We're late. I am dead.

Sodead.

Soded.

Instead I'm told to take my shoes off and come inside.

There's people there.

Young people.

They're at least 9 years younger than me.

9.

That's old man.

I'm old. What the hell.

But man, I can't stand them. They're TERRIBLE.

For one, they're all greasy and smelly. Two, despite their best efforts at looking decent they were just as appalling as I was - I had worn my Super Rick Scarf that day, I figured Murdercat would appreciate my effort at finding this great Super Hero and bringing him in would be just super duper and all that.

A couple of the older gals there somewhat appreciated the eccentricity, but ugh, the guys there were terrible. I'm not sure what they hell they were.

Cool. No, that can't be it. I don't think I can put my finger quite on it. They must be...


SUPER COOL.

Obviously they were super cool because these perfectly rational and completely sane ladies were all over their covetable bodies like someone had tossed trash on them and threw them to pigs.

It was pathetic and entirely awesome at the same time.

I naturally kept my distance. Not looking to needlessly exhaust my patience in one shot trying to evoke some kind of communication with folks who couldn't keep their pants on during phone conversations, I had to stand back and watch this tomfoolery unfold.

Since none of them were that interesting to be able to talk about anything important, they had to occupy themselves with other things in order to have something to talk about.

I find this really stupid.

If you have to play DDR to have a conversation with people (Which Kayla did quite well, good job) then obviously you don't know these people that well and you should be somewhere else wasting someone else's time. Seriously guys, this is just stupid.

We sorta milled about a bit, and then I scurried off to the tiny little kitchen which had an assortment of odd food, mushrooms, tomatoes, lettuce and other munchy stuffs that went along with Ranch dressing and salsa.

Right.

As other folks came and went and the day dragged on, my head was exploding and I was having to resort to having to take power naps whenever possible to drain out the noise that was driving me insane. Every five seconds there was a "That was what she said" line tossed in and every other comment was made toward sexual connotations.

Bleh. DOUBLE BLEH. SUPER BLEH. Just bleh, alright.

I then found a cat named Tigger and petted it and then people were leaving. Two of them decided to hang outside by my car (Apparently the SUPER COOL GUY IS SO SUPER COOL THAT HE NEEDS A RIDE TO GO down 1 or 2 blocks) and they were making out by my car.

My Grape is valuable to me and I like valuable things and this was valuable and I'm not gonna have Pretty Pretty Princess and Super Cool Guy do the mack macky on the back of my car, so I stormed out there and moved it, leaving them out in the open with no cover to hide behind, so then they just shuffled their feet around a bit instead.

During the process of the day I was continually buffeted, poked, pestered, prodded and made a fool of by Murdercat and Kayla that sometimes sleeping would be the best recourse to such an action. They then decided that playing dress up with bows and bikinis (GUH, BOWS) would be really great and I totally agreed. Yes. That's really great.

Then we went home. Home. Yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

Happy burfday.